Volume II. No. 54
 06-26-04
 Monica's Choice
 author: Vance Cureton
 © Copyright 2004
 

 The past week has been a rather good one for former President William Jefferson
 Clinton. Despite lackluster reviews his long-awaited book "My Life" has been 
 a runaway bestseller the very first week. Already moving over 100,000 copies in
 a couple of days. A record for such a book.

 Clinton was interviewed on Oprah and Larry King, amongst other shows. And 
 there was the expected psychobabble { but no tears } about how his troubled 
 early years influenced the man - and husband - he was to become later in life. If 
 you're a never say die Clinton-lover, there is little in all of this to become upset 
 about. Clinton as always is in many ways a charming man. This has certainly 
 come across in his television appearances. But, if you're a hater, well - there is 
 nothing that Bill could ever say that will alleviate your doubts.

 Monica Lewinsky certainly has her doubts. In an interview that appeared on the
 ITV network in Great Britain, Lewinsky remarked. “I was hoping, and did expect 
 was for him to acknowledge and correct the inaccurate and false statements 
 that he...made about me when they were trying to protect the presidency."

 Lewinsky went on to add. "...In the process he destroyed me, and that was the 
 way he was going to have to do that, to get through impeachment... I was a 
 young girl and to hear him saying some of the things he was saying today - 
 it’s a shame.”

 In these abbreviated statements Monica Lewinski does indeed come across as a
 woman who feels deeply wronged by the ex-President. She apparently feels that
 she was used and then tossed aside in a most disrespectful manner. And that Bill
 Clinton will never acknowledge publicly the true depth of the romantic relationship 
 -- Monica believes that was once genunine, and not necessarily dead-ended.

 Classic he said. She said. The man views the relationship one way. The woman
 another. Almost as if the two are talking in a completely different language. A
 Mars vs. Venus situation. Unfortunately what does come through is Monca's 
 unfortunate sense of being a "victim." This is perhaps as sad as it was inevitable.

 No human being on earth could possibly comprehend the personal embarassment
 that Lewinsky obviously continues to struggle with. She in her own words has
 expressed the sentiment that her very name has become synonymous with an
 oral sex act. But is it not a testament to her individual strength as a person, that 
 she isn't today a homebound person, too much in pain to endure the little cruelties
 of the world.

 Yet there is still this "victim" thing again. Victim is a very two-sided word. 
 The idea of viewing oneself in such a regard can be an emotional death 
 trap that - like a tar pit - once fallen into is inescapable and permanent.

 Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton had no business sneaking around the back
 corridors of the White House. On all counts their affair was as morally wrong 
 as it was reckless and foolhardy. Bill Clinton failed in his obligation as the older 
 experienced party who should have ended the tragedy-in-the-making before it 
 began.

 But for all of Clinton's moral weaknesses, Monica Lewinsky was twenty-three
 years old at the time. She was not an eighteen year old school girl looking 
 forward to her high school prom. At twenty-three men and women are long since
 eligible for wartime duty. They work on ships, in mobile operating rooms, fly 
 airplanes, serve in the depths of the ocean on submarines. 

 In other words, twenty-three is full adulthood. And similarly to being pregnant. 
 You are either an adult or you are not. Gender has nothing to do with it. This 
 is what equality of the sexes must represent. Equality in the board room must mean 
 equality everywhere else. -- If not, then what is the significance of the word?

 So Monica is very mistaken when she complains, "...I was a young girl." 

 Morally perhaps. But legally, she certainly was not. She was a young woman.

 There is a world of difference.

 Monica has every right to feel personally wronged and betrayed. No one 
 can deny her that. But perhaps a better path is for Monica Lewinsky to accept 
 responsibility for her part in the sexual indiscretions that have so marred her 
 life, and then simply move on and make best of the time she has left.

 She made a mistake. What human being has not?

 Self-forgiveness can be liberating.

 Victimhood is a double-edged sword. All the media outlets, magazine shows,
 etc., that are eager to put a microphone in front of Monica's mouth { no pun
 intended } do not care at all about her as an individual. They are just simply 
 eager to exploit a sensational topic that deals with sex, betrayal, and the moral 
 turpitude of a powerful man. All at the expense of Monica's sense of self-worth.

 Paula Jones has tragically turned her victimhood into self-parody. Extensive
 plastic surgery has changed her physical appearance. She's boxed in front of 
 a nationwide audience on a silly reality show. -- Her opponent was none other 
 than the infamous Tonya Harding. The boxing match was a sorry sight.

 Paula has become little more than a clown. Except people are laughing at her. 
 Not with her. 

 Jennifer Flowers is another of Clinton's indiscretions. By all accounts she is
 now an angry, vindictive woman. Ready at the drop of a hat to spew venom
 about the ex-President. And yet, how many long years ago was her affair with 
 Bill Clinton?

 Perhaps Monica should look closely at the example of these two women. Does
 she want to become ensnared in such a manner? Wearing the yoke of victimhood 
 as it weighs her down to the ground. At the age of thirty, her journey is really 
 just beginning. Hopefully she will come to realize that living the next half-century 
 of her life - as a victim - isn't likely to be much fun at all.
 

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