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 Volume I No. 74
 05-05-03
 Bill Bennett - Hypocrite Extraordinaire
 author: Vance Cureton
 © Copyright 2003

 Shhhh! Somebody has a gambling problem.

 No it isn't "Joe" from down the block who's just spent his last
 twenty bucks on the Lotto. No, it isn't "Liz" who constantly
 neglects her troubled teenage daughter because she can't
 resist the temptation of weeknight bingo at her church.

 Want to guess again?

 Nooooo it isn't those undesirables in the alley out back who 
 yell and curse, and drink beer from large bottles in rumpled 
 brown papers bags, as they gamble till all hours. Where are 
 the police in this part of town when you need them?

 No none of these problem children is "the one."

 Bill Bennett is our problem gambler.

 You know Bill Bennett don't you? He's Mr. Smug Right-Wing
 Republican. The author of such books as "The Moral Compass"
 and his latest, "The Book of Virtues." He is a take no prisoners
 conservative moralist always complaining about the decline 
 of the moral fabric of American society. { It's those liberals 
 damn it! }

 Word has leaked out that Bill Bennett is a "high-roller" at 
 serveral Las Vegas casinos. And that when he loses, he loses 
 large. We are talking losses in the millions. -- Not at one time 
 mind you, but over the years. 

 But millions is still millions. Isn't it?

 This demands a moment of contemplation. Las Vegas is located
 in a state where prostitution is legal. Las Vegas has a history 
 of strong connections to organized crime. And by association
 organized crime means drugs, money-laundering, extortion, etc.
 And of course, those million dollar casino palaces are what make 
 Vegas...Vegas. Without them the gambling capital of Nevada 
 would just be another dry city in the desert.

 Those casinos stay in business because gamblers lose more
 than they win. Isn't that right Bill? So then by extrapolation 
 aren't you enabling all those other vices you claim to hate. 
 Drug dealing. Prostitution. Adultery. And just general bad 
 personal morals. Don't you see it Bill, without losers like you,
 Las Vegas and all those gambling casinos just might go away.
 Fade into the desert like some 21st century ghost town.

 Don't worry Bill. Your friends at Fox News and on all those
 right-wing conservative talk shows won't pump-up this story.
 You're not a liberal. So, there'd be nothing to gain. { right-wing 
 hyprocrites just aren't as entertaining as those on the left }

 But, if you have a true friend out there Bill. Someone who
 really cares about your welfare. You should listen when they 
 ask. "You've lost how much!!!" 

 Afterall Bill, if you're hemorrhaging  money. { whether or not 
 you can afford it } Isn't that a moral failing? A sign of weakness 
 of character? 

 Isn't that what we usually define as "a problem?"

 Gee....I wonder what Bill Bennett  would say about that!
 

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 © Copyright 2003

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